How to “Cultivate” a Glass Buddy
It’s always more fun when you have someone with whom to share your interest and, not to mention, to do the driving when you go “hunting in the Wild” and to help you carry all those heavy boxes. But sometimes that person is not easy to find or maybe you have ”turned off “your present friends and family with your incessant glass talk. So, how can you get a new “glass buddy?” Hmm… Remember the 2005 film “Lies my Mother told Me.” Let’s take a cue from it and look at some beautiful glass at the same time.
The first of the lies – oh, this is a good one! Tell them that the lead content in the glass gives it an “electrostatic” field which repels dust.
Photograph courtesy of 50 Shades member Paul Winsor.
Photograph courtesy of Deborah Patterson.
Then have a gift of Swiffers ready for them when they call you out on lying. Don’t be cheap – go for the good ones. Not the ones from the Dollar Store. And to really win them back – go big – an assortment!
You’ll need to keep those fingers crossed and securely behind your back when they bring up concerns about kids and animals. Take a firm stand with “Oh, don’t fuss about that. Pets are totally disinterested. My cat doesn’t even seem to realize it’s there.” Ignore the kid concern completely – do not get into addressing that issue at all as it can go south FAST.
Photographs courtesy of 50 Shades members Dawn Tolhurst and Winnie.
Here’s a good one. “No, it’s HIGHLY unlikely that you’ll EVER break a piece!”
Photograph courtesy of heartbroken (and clumsy) 50 Shades member Jackie Lyn.
And here’s an especially to-the-point answer to any concerns expressed about buying too much. “Nah, you won’t get carried away.” You have to keep the denial short and sweet.
Photograph courtesy of “focused” 50 Shades member Bob Burgess.
Two lies for the price of one: “Don’t worry – shipped pieces never come broken and they’re insured for ‘loss’ anyways.”
Photographs courtesy of ”not pleased” 50 Shades member Brad McGillivray.
And the closer. “And if something ever did happen, even though that would be pretty unheard of, you can always “repair” a broken piece. No one can tell.”
Photograph courtesy of Deborah Patterson.
You might have to persuade their partner too so make sure you reassure them about how little it will impact their space. “Oh, heavens no, they don’t take up a lot of room.”
Photograph courtesy of Deborah Patterson.
Photograph of “pretty much running out of space” 50 Shades member Laura Cornell.
Make sure they know that when you collect glass, you will never lack a dance partner. Remind them of their partner’s two left feet and embarrassing breakdancing moves. 50 Shades member Anna Giacobbe is much more graceful because of her glass.
Be prepared for possible arguments about going out into the “Wild.” “No. Flea markets and antique malls aren’t dusty, musty, and crowded or creepy anymore. I’d call them “shabby chic” now.
Tell them how easy it is to grow an amazing collection full of rare pieces that no one really knows about. “You can always get what you want online easily. There’s really no competition for pieces.”
Be reassuring - tell them that they can rest easy knowing how sellers never ever misidentify and/or overprice a pIece. And certainly there is no bad information out there. “Oh, well - this listing being wrong and overpriced is the exception to the rule.”
Out in the “Wild.” “No way you’ll ever get ripped off.”
In the morning.
At the end of the day.
Stress how useful the glass is. “It’s not just for show. You can use it for anything.”
A look all your own - very unique vintage. Photograph courtesy of 50 Shades member Ella Hanks.
Prattle on about how they will never run out of serving dishes:
50 Shades member Jeremiah Shaver likes to keep his glass sweet.
But also good for the healthy, organic days. Photograph courtesy of 50 Shades member Andree Cayer.
Assure them it’s a good investment. Just one example - every celebration will pose a new opportunity to “repurpose” their pieces. Think of the budget savings on holiday decorations only. The glass actually pays for itself!
50 Shades member Cathy Antonyshyn knows!
The cost benefits continue to be positive. Home accident insurance prices can be lowered as think of all the safety issues the glass helps avoid. For example, they will never have to stand on a chair and reach to get down a vase from that unreachable kitchen cupboard again!
No more ugly florist vases for 50 Shades members Jeremiah Shaver (left) and Gionny Gueli (right).
When they forgot to turn on the dishwasher – no worries. They can eat out of it!
50 Shades member Bob Burgess is nothing if not resourceful.
When that “Got milk?” commercial comes on – they won’t feel any pressure because they can drink out of it too. 50 Shades member Jack Sibbers has made us a demonstration video:
And 50 Shades member Jo Highland can always be counted on to “Raise Her Glass.”
Not to belabor a point, but it ‘s “fruitful” to repeat how “berry, berry, berry” useful collectors find the glass.
Middle photograph courtesy of 50 Shades member Paul Winsor. Photographs on left and at right, courtesy of Jeremiah Shaver
The glass also makes the best outdoor feeders. So, a handy wildlife solution!
Photographs courtesy of Todd and his pets 50 Shades members Kevin Kodak and Tracey Shanley.
Pieces can also be used indoors for a more “décor-friendly” puppy crate. When you downsize, so much more attractive than a wire cage!
Photographs courtesy of 50 Shades member Jackie Lyn.
It can be used as a very classy way to let their household know it’s “time to dine.” They no longer need to fear “Miss Manners.” 50 Shades member Dwain Robertson shows us how it’s done.
Also stress the hygienic benefits of collecting glass. 50 Shades member Jeremiah Shaver is never in fear of falling short of “cleanliness is next to Godliness.”
If your potential “Glass Buddy” is one of those “New Agers” that is always wittering on about the benefits of crystals… Well – don’t you just have the best argument in favour of collecting the glass to put that one to rest!
There are bountiful physical health benefits to be reaped. This can be used as an argument to override the dusting debacle - although moving your arms is good cardio. But there’s more positive as evidenced by the glass induced rigorous workouts many 50 Shades members swear by. Malla Birns, Jeremiah Shaver and Alex Wicks are only three of our glass athletes. See them here as they channel their inner Jane Fonda.
50 Shades members Alex Wicks (left) and Jeremiah Shaver (right) share an affinity for awesome glass, statement shirts and overhead presses.
And lastly, let them know that Gionny Gueli swears by the mental health benefits the glass imparts. This 50 Shader sleeps like a baby.
